Originally published in the Galactic Enquirer (I Don't Care What You Smell)



by MJ Mink

In a disclosure that stunned the galaxy, the Imperial Court of Justice announced this week that billions of credits have been willed to the self-proclaimed "Jedi", notorious rebel terrorist Luke Skywalker, by the Empire's late Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Vader! Vader's entire estate on Imperial Center, plus his vast holdings of property, controlling interests in multi-planetary corporations, and an undisclosed amount of credits - believed to surpass the 20 billion mark - are all designated to be transferred to the young Tatooine native.

Skywalker, a former farmer, has denied any knowledge of the reasons behind Vader's surprise move, and Alliance insiders say he's being characteristically evasive. The inheritance is causing speculation in Enforcement circles, however, and one official who declined to be identified confided, "We're looking into the true cause of Lord Vader's death. The story of his heroic demise while attempting to protect our beloved Emperor Palpatine is very likely a hoax. Skywalker may have used his 'Force' powers to coerce our Lord into changing his will - and then murdered him! People will do anything for credits. That money rightfully belongs in the Imperial Treasury!"

It will be remembered that no evidence remained after the destruction of the Imperial Strategic Defense Star by a small band of terrorists, so Imperial advocates are expected to argue that there is no proof that Lord Vader is deceased. It is also expected that the Imperial Court will retain custody of the credits and the remainder of the estate until such a determination is made. But in the meanwhile, Skywalker is enjoying a life of luxury and ease among his terrorist companions, where is he lauded as the murderer of our heroic leader, Lord Darth Vader.

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